5 Ways to Practice Positive Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a healthy and necessary skill that everyone should possess. And assertiveness doesn’t have to equal aggressiveness. Being assertive means that you express your feelings, needs, and desires in order to obtain what it is you require to be happy. It is a means to become more independent and more worthy of trust and respect.

Learning how to become more assertive isn’t difficult. In fact, once you begin to assert yourself in different situations, you’ll see how amazing it makes you feel, and that being assertive is it’s own reward.

Here are five ways to practice positive assertiveness in nearly any situation:

1. Say What You Think – The stress load of putting on a smile when we’re not feeling it, or going along with something we don’t believe in, can be enormous. Eliminate this stress completely by simply saying what you think. Of course, you need to learn to express yourself diplomatically, but once you’ve stopped hiding behind a smile, and begun being completely honest and transparent in your communications, you’ll see what a dramatic effect this has on your life.
2. When You Feel Attacked, Pause– We all know how it feels to be personally attacked by another, whether it’s in a business, family, or friend situation. The next time this happens to you, stop and pause to think about what the other person is attempting to convey, and whether it is based in truth. Instead of taking it personally and reacting to the perceived attack, assert yourself by conveying how you feel and standing your ground rather than simply over-reacting.
3. Face What’s Bothering You – It’s can feel scary to face a situation that’s bothering you rather than simply going along with it. Asserting yourself by facing the situation will fill you with empowerment, and decrease the control the situation has over you and your feelings. And it will release the stress you feel at going along with something you don’t believe in.
4. Learn to Say No – We often allow ourselves to be taken advantage of because saying no is scary. We feel that if we say no, we may lose someone’s affection, love, or attention. The truth is that saying no helps to weed those people from our lives that don’t truly belong. Learning to say no to those things we don’t want to do or don’t believe in is a powerful way to express your assertiveness positively.
5. Practice Makes Perfect – Few people are born assertive. It is something that you learn – and until you feel comfortable with being assertive, you may have to “fake it til you make it!” Rest assured that soon enough, being assertive will come naturally and will simply be a tried-and-true part of your self-care routine. And that’s something even MacGuyver could get behind!

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